


This Beats for You

by zhongwritings



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, but cel doesn't have an ao3, hi its me again, i hope you like this one!, its cute i think idk, okie bye! enjoy!, so pretend it says gifted for cel, sorry for the tenses being Bad, the angst is super light imo, the chenji tag is kinda dry so i came back to liven it up a bit hahaha, this fic is a gift for cel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29011086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhongwritings/pseuds/zhongwritings
Summary: “Do you think I’ll ever fall in love?”Jisung doesn’t know why that's the first thing Chenle decides to ask him today, but it is.
Relationships: Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66





	This Beats for You

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is a birthday present for my first ever reader and one of my closest friends, celesta!
> 
> happy birthday! ilysm <3

“Do you think I’ll ever fall in love?” 

Jisung doesn’t know why that is the first thing Chenle decides to ask him today, but it is.

He is sitting on the seat of his bicycle, shuffling through his backpack searching for his bike lock, the question hanging monotonously in the air between them.

Jisung watched as Chenle climbed off of his bike, not bothering to look up at him, or to even allude to the obscurity of the question at hand.

“What?” Jisung says finally, scrambling off of his own bicycle and following Chenle through the school gates. “What kind of question is that to ask at,” he checks his watch, “7:30 in the morning?” He tries to laugh it off as Chenle bounds up the stairwell ahead of him.

“I’m just saying,” Chenle replies, his voice terribly dull amidst the livelihood of the school halls. “I’ve never felt what love is _supposed_ to feel like. So, as my friend, do _you_ think I’ll ever fall in love?” He stops at the entrance to their classroom, halting Jisung.

 _I certainly hope you do_. Jisung thinks, his heart rate accelerating beneath the thin expanse of skin that protects Chenle from knowing just how nervous the question has made him. _I hope you fall in love with me_.

“Well-”

“Chenle, could you move your arm please?” A voice comes from behind Chenle, interrupting Jisung. He recognizes it to be Hyuck immediately. “Some of us are trying to get into class before the bell rings.” 

Chenle rolls his eyes as he moves his arm and heads into the classroom behind Hyuck, Jisung following sheepishly behind the pair.

They sit down in their seats, Chenle sitting directly in front of Jisung. He turns to him once more, eyebrows furrowed.

“So?” Chenle asks, his voice lilted in expectancy. “Do you think I’ll ever fall in love?”

The repetition of the question makes Jisung uneasy, as if Chenle needed the answer urgently. But Jisung really didn’t know how to answer.

“Of course-”

“Good morning, class!” Now it was their homeroom teacher, Mr. Jung. “We have a busy day today, as it is the first day of the spring semester. Let’s all be quiet and settle down, alright?” He smiled at the students before beginning his morning greetings, Chenle and Jisung’s conversation long gone.

~

Jisung thinks about the question through all of his morning lectures.

Of course he believes Chenle will fall in love. Most people do. Even if it’s a fleeting love, one that lasts for moments at a time, or even if it’s a love that lasts and expands life times. He knows Chenle will fall in love. The challenge was being able to relay the message to Chenle that _of course I want you to fall in love!_ While also saying, _as long as it’s with me!_

But being that Jisung was not much more than a scribbling pile of flesh and bones, unable to communicate his feelings to his best friend and crush of eight years- him getting Chenle to understand how he feels was beginning to sound seemingly impossible.

Chenle finds Jisung once again at lunch, where all of their friends are sitting together at their lunch table, chatting away about what classes they had that semester. Chenle, typically the talkative type, sat in silence as he watched the door to the cafeteria open, his face lighting up the moment he saw Jisung.

“Don’t think I’m letting this question get away from you,” Chenle said, a smirk settling on his face as Jisung sat down across from him with his lunch tray.

“It’s not like I’m trying to avoid it,” Jisung replied, a laugh forcing its way through his throat as he mulled over the question once more- despite all of his thinking, he didn’t have much more of an answer other than an impromptu confession, which, in Jisung’s defense, wouldn’t be too great of a thing to do in a cafeteria full of teenagers.

Luckily, Jaemin seemed to be on his side.

“I can’t believe Mr. Lee assigned us a paper on the first day of classes!” Jaemin wailed from beside Jisung. He threw his head back onto Jisung’s shoulder, looking up at him with a faux pout on his face. “How did your first day go?”

Jisung smiled over to Chenle, guilt washing over his expression as he saw the scowl settle on his best friend’s face.

“It’s been fine,” Jisung sighed, laughing slowly as Jaemin leaned away from him. “A bit funny, actually…”

“Funny? How so?” Jeno asked from across the table.

“Oh, you know, just… funny.”

~

Chenle snags Jisung again once lunch is over.

“I’m starting to think you’re really avoiding me,” Chenle jokes as he makes a display of walking backwards in front of Jisung. 

Jisung rolls his eyes.

“It’s not that _I’m_ avoiding it, I think the universe must be driving me away from the question.”

“Oh? The universe? Is the universe so almighty it can pull you from me?” Chenle asks, almost breathless as he speeds up his backwards pace.

Jisung feels his blood run cold at the question.

“Pull me from- Chenle!” 

Before he knows what he’s doing, Jisung is leaping forward and grabbing Chenle as he begins to fall backwards, tripping over a pile of papers that had been left in the middle of the hallway. The pair were hurled forward in a flurry of shadowed snow that fell all around them, the moment moving almost in slow motion as Jisung wrapped his hand around the back of Chenle’s head in protection. They finally hit the ground, Jisung matching Chenle’s gaze as he looked him over, making sure he was okay. Once Jisung finally realizes that he has Chenle trapped underneath him, once he finally feels the drag of Chenle’s breathing chest against his own, Jisung scrambles to get off of him- the gasps of their classmates following soon after.

~

“I told you, I’m fine,” Chenle nags.

He and Jisung were walking to the train station after school, the whole ordeal long behind them.

“I know I know, it’s just- you scared me. If you had hit your head or something-”

“Stop worrying,” Chenle interrupts, a smile spread wide across his features. “Nothing happened. We’re both okay.”

 _‘Nothing happened’_ Jisung’s thoughts grumbled. _Sure… I only had to sit in class for the rest of the day, biting at my fingernails in worry thinking that you could feel how hard my heart was beating._

“Do you have any plans today?” Jisung asks, not so much in curiosity, but more so out of avoidance for Chenle’s previous questioning from earlier in the day. He couldn’t talk about that right now. Not when his heart still hadn’t calmed down.

“Nope,” Chenle replies. “I didn’t get assigned any papers on the first day like Jaemin did. I’m probably just gonna get my books together and stuff. Why? You wanna hang out?” His eyes brightened at the final question, but Jisung seemed to miss it.

“Oh- uhm, I can’t, actually, sorry,” Jisung stammers. “I have to get some stuff done for my dance class. Maybe we can hang this weekend?”

“Sure,” Chenle answers, stopping in front of his train terminal. “I’ll see you in the morning?”

“See you in the morning,” Jisung says, bidding Chenle farewell as he and his train left, disappearing into the distance.

Jisung feels the knot in his stomach untie.

~

It’s the following day, during their gym class, when Chenle gets the opportunity to ask again.

“Do you think I’ll ever fall in love?” It comes as a shrilling whisper to a focused Jisung’s ear.

Jisung is jolted into awareness as he turns and finds a howling Chenle on the ground beside him, laughing happily at Jisung’s surprise.

“Chenle!” Jisung cries in frustration. He sighs out a laugh as he sees the genuine joy that has implanted itself on Chenle’s face.

“Sorry but, ha ha, did you see?” Chenle starts dragging out each word with a laugh. “Did you- no, no, ha, I wish, I wish you could have seen your face!”

“You’re an idiot,” Jisung murmurs, before reaching out and helping Chenle up from the ground. “It couldn’t have been that funny.”

“You were just so focused on the ball, I- sorry I couldn’t help it,” Chenle tries to catch his breath, opting to lean on Jisung for support.

He looks up at Jisung, whose face was bright red ~~in exhaustion~~ as he looks down at Chenle, their bodies pressed together comfortably.

“Chenle-” “Are you avoiding the question on purpose?” There was an air of confidence in Chenle’s voice, and Jisung could feel his muscles tensing under the pierce of his gaze. “You seem… weird about it.” He’s smirking now, his eyelashes are thick and fluffy- Jisung comes to realize.

_Does he know?_

“I’m really not avoiding it!” Jisung protests, before moving away from Chenle and making his way towards the school building. He follows close behind. “I just.. I need time to think about it.”

“Why do you need so much time? It's not like it’s a hard question.”

“But it _is_ a hard question,” Jisung mumbles.

“How so?”

_Because I don’t want you to fall in love with someone who isn’t me. What if I tell you you can and you suddenly come out and say you’re in a relationship? I don’t think I’m ready for that yet._

“Just.. it is. You’re my best friend. Sorry if I want to give you a good answer. I still need time to think about it.”

“You ‘need time to think about it?’ Please,” Chenle says. It's clear to Jisung that he’s starting to get angry.

“Are you seriously getting mad right now?” Jisung asks, incredulous.

“Of course I’m getting mad! You keep pushing me off!”

“I need to give you a good answer!”

“Jisung, it isn’t that serious!” Chenle almost shouts. “Look I- “ He sighs, deep and heavy. “I know I’m probably going to fall in love someday. I just- I wanted to know what _you_ thought about that. Sorry if it’s so hard to answer. Maybe I can’t fall in love then! I mean, if _you_ can’t even tell me a simple yes or no-”

“Chenle!”

“What?” It seemed as though Chenle was _really_ angry now. “If you don’t have an answer for me, then I guess I’ll just go and find someone else to tell me. Maybe I’ll get a boyfriend out of the deal, too.”

Jisung can’t get another word in as Chenle storms off and into the building. He feels angry, too. Obviously he wanted to give Chenle an answer. But he couldn’t. Not now. And for some reason, Chenle couldn’t understand that.

After that, Jisung decides he will avoid Chenle at all costs.

~

The walk to the train station is lonely.

Jisung isn’t sure how this turned into an argument, but somehow it did, and now he has no idea how to fix things between him and Chenle. In Jisung’s mind, the only way to fix things would be to confess- and he was not at all ready for that.

_He’s just being weird about me not having an answer yet. He can’t actually be mad at me. I should be mad at him! He’s the one who suddenly said he was going to go and get a boyfriend. But.. I guess he doesn’t know that I like him so… I can’t really blame him for wanting to be in a relationship. Not that he would even want to date me anyway, even if I did confess._

Jisung wants to bash his head into the wall.

He had kept his crush on Chenle a secret from everyone for the last few years, and he wasn’t planning on now just parading around with ‘I have a HUGE crush on Zhong Chenle’ written on his forehead. He was going to have to figure this out on his own.

~

Chenle hates the fact that they’re arguing.

He is laying on the floor of his bedroom, watching as his ceiling fan drags around in an endless cycle.

“Why can’t he just give me a straight answer?” Chenle asks the room, not bothering to speak much louder than a whisper. “Why can’t he just tell me? It’s not like I can figure this out on my own… He’s supposed to be my best friend. He’s supposed to… make me feel better about all of this. These… these stupid feelings I have. I just need him to tell me I can fall in love. I need him to tell me if I’m desirable or not. He’s the only one who can make me feel better about how I feel.”

Chenle, feeling anger rush over him, stands fast from the floor, running a hand through his hair and sighing out in frustration. He begins to pace around his bedroom, annoyed at the entire situation.

“I’m not just going to let him ignore me. I’m going to get my best friend back, _and_ I’m going to get an answer out of him. And maybe… maybe I’ll get a boyfriend out of the deal too. He can’t get away from me. Not after he went and made me like him like this. No way.”

Chenle never was one to give up so easily.

~

After three days and 58 unread messages, Chenle finally gets the chance to talk to Jisung once again.

Jisung has been avoiding him- he would be lying if he said he wasn’t. He can’t handle confrontation, and, in all honesty, he was just hoping things would blow over and Chenle would forget about the entire thing.

At first, it had been somewhat fun for him to avoid Chenle’s questioning, no matter how annoyed he seemed to get at Jisung. But as things carried on, and after their three-day- long stance of silence, Jisung thinks that maybe Chenle was aware of the fact that he likes him. Maybe he knew about Jisung’s feelings, and was now leaving things as they were, in hopes of protecting Jisung’s feelings because he doesn’t feel the same.

But whether it be through getting saved by the bell, or some random, arcane occurrence; Jisung still had yet to give Chenle his reply. Most people would have given up by now, would have turned a blind eye to the obvious space it was putting between the two of them, opting to drop the question instead of drawing the rift any further.

But if Jisung knew anything, it was that Chenle wasn’t _most_ people.

“Until when will you ignore me?” It’s Chenle’s voice that travels down the hallway to Jisung’s ears. He turns on his heel, the notebooks in his arms suddenly having the desire to drag him towards the ground. Jisung wants to sink.

“W-what?” He croaks, throat dry at Chenle suddenly interacting with him. -though it wasn’t exactly sudden, considering Jisung has been ignoring all of Chenle’s texts for the last three days-

Before Jisung can turn and run, Chenle is in front of him. He’s a few inches shorter, and he looks incredibly angry from Jisung’s angle above him.

“When are you going to stop acting like this is so serious?” Chenle asks. “I don’t want to fight with you over a simple yes or no question.”

Anger bubbles inside of Jisung, and before he knows what he’s doing, he’s grabbing Chenle’s wrist and dragging him down the hallway. He dumps the notebooks he was holding on a windowsill, before taking a deep breath and bringing Chenle down the stairs with him. Jisung looks back at Chenle for a moment, seemingly contemplating what he was about to do. Ignoring the possible scolding he would receive for leaving before he was done with his class duties, Jisung pulls Chenle through the school doors.

Jisung pulls Chenle all the way off of school grounds, nearly at a runner’s pace as they make their way off campus. He doesn’t know where he’s taking Chenle, and he most certainly isn’t looking forward to the lecture he’s going to get from his mother later about skipping his after school activities. But Jisung doesn’t care. Not when everything is so suffocating. Not when the walls of school make him feel claustrophobic and caged. Even the grip he has on Chenle’s hand is starting to make him feel lunatic- he needs to get somewhere, fast. 

Finally, after having landed upon a playground a mile or so away from their school, Jisung stops. He drops Chenle’s hand, opting instead to walk away from him. Jisung is quick to find purchase on one of the swings, not bothering to look up at Chenle as he approaches him.

The quiet is unsettling, as he is so used to Chenle’s pressing questions and curiosity. His silence is deafening.

Unsure of why he brought Chenle here in the first place, Jisung’s rambling begins.

“Chenle- I- you- you’ve been asking me all week if I think you’ll ever fall in love.” Jisung’s voice is hoarse from being out of breath, his throat dry and scratching for moisture. But he needs to say this now, if not, he may never get the courage again. “Of course, of _course_ I think you’ll fall in love. You’re handsome and smart and talented. You have such a bright future ahead of you, your family is amazing. I mean really- why wouldn’t you fall in love? But I… I didn’t- I don’t know how to tell you this without thinking you were going to come out and tell me you had a boyfriend or whatever so before you even tell me that, just… I wanted to tell you that I… I like you. I always have. For years now. I’m sorry if you have a boyfriend and if this puts weight on you and makes you feel bad but please don’t let it! Just… let me take some time to try and get over you. I’m sorry.”

It is silent for a beat.

Jisung doesn’t even try to make eye contact with Chenle, not wanting to break the spell of quiet that has fallen over them. He waits.

“You… you like me?” Chenle’s voice sounds almost unfamiliar to Jisung’s ears, its tone long past nervous. Chenle’s voice is shaking completely. Jisung nods in response, slow and sure. “Why didn’t you tell me before? Why… why didn’t you- this could have been so much easier if you had just told me this, Ji. You made this so much harder than it should be.”

Jisung’s attention is drawn upward as he sees Chenle’s figure move towards him. No more words are spoken until Chenle is hovering directly above Jisung, their hair tangling together. He takes hold of the swing chain, jerking Jisung forward until all Jisung can see is past Chenle, and all Jisung can feel is Chenle’s lips.

The kiss isn’t magical or fated or momentous.

The kiss is morose.

Feelings of _almost_ linger between Jisung and Chenle’s lips.

They pull apart as Jisung stands to his full height, letting himself tower over Chenle as he plants his hands hard into Chenle’s shoulders.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Chenle’s voice is muffled against Jisung’s shoulder.

“I was scared. I- I never thought… I never thought you would ever want anything to do with me romantically. I feel like we wasted so much time.”

“Don’t feel like that,” Chenle’s hands travel up Jisung’s sides until his fingers are tangled in Jisung’s hair, and he’s pulling him down to his eye level. “We have all the time in the world now.”

He kisses Jisung once more, all previous feelings washing away to expose new, genuine, reciprocated feelings.

After sitting at the swingset untilt the sun was long past its peak, after sharing lazy kisses again and again, after sparks have flown and flames have ignited, Jisung speaks once more.

“Wait… Do… do you feel the same?”

“Of course I do.”

~

It is six months later and summer has finally come. Chenle and Jisung are lazing around Chenle’s house, taking up most of the space in the living room with their bodies.

After a bout or so of silence, 

“Do you think I’ll ever fall in love?” 

Chenle doesn’t know why that is the first thing Jisung decides to ask him today, but it is.

“Are you saying you haven’t yet?” Chenle is curious to know why Jisung is bringing up such a tired question, so he plays along with his boyfriend’s muses.

“I’m saying I have,” Jisung replies. “I just want to make sure the person I fell in love with has fallen in love with me too. You can’t fall in love if the feelings are one sided, you know.”

Chenle sits beside Jisung on the couch, placing his hand over Jisung’s heart.

“This beats for me, right?”

Jisung’s cheeks go red, but he nods nonetheless.

Chenle smiles, then takes Jisung’s hand and raises it to his own chest, over his heart.

“And this beats for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> hi...  
> so like yeah i kinda disappeared for a month ha ha ha yeah sorry about that... anyways! i hope you enjoyed reading this! sorry if its a little rusty i didn't write at all during my time off... lol thank you for reading !!  
> twt and cc: zhongwritings  
> see you again <3


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